My Mother at Sixty-Six

My Mother at Sixty-six is a poem written by Indian writer Kamala Das. Her poems are mostly about the less noticed aspects of human relationships in the tapestry of life. She magnifies the simplest events through beautiful imagery and strong descriptions.

Ageing is a natural process, and no one has control over it. As much as we love our parents and wish for them to live forever with us, nature does not seem to heed our wishes. Our parents do grow old and need help and care. It might be painful to see them lose their youth with time. It is unfortunate, but it is just like sand slipping away from between our fingers. We cannot hold on to it forever.

The poet explores the loving relationship between a mother and a daughter. Her mother is old, and she cannot bear the thought of losing her. The poem describes feelings and emotions that surface within her as she rides to the airport with her mother before departing to another place.

The poet describes her ride to Cochin from her parent’s house in the poem. Her mother, who was sitting beside her, dozed in the car. The poet observed her closely and realised that her mother had grown old. She did not exhibit any youthful nature – her mouth was open as she was sleeping, and her face did not have the lively glow found in young people. The poet described her face as ‘ashen’. It is indicative of a state after death – the end of life.

She found this thought troubling and looked out the window to distract herself. The world outside presented a contrast to her recent thoughts and observations. She could see things that represented the very vibrant spirit of life. There were several young trees outside the window on the roadside. They seemed to sprint as the car drove on. The poet could see children run out of their houses to play. Their happiness was an embodiment of energy and optimism, opposite to what she felt when she looked at her mother.

At the airport, after the security check, the poet looked at her mother again. Her face looked colourless and pale. She compared it to a late winter’s moon – hazy and dim. The poet could relate this to a childhood fear she used to have – the fear of losing her mother. The situation described here is a moment of parting, and leaving her mother alone at this age makes her sad and helpless. She felt a pang of pain and fear here. She knew that her mother was approaching her end. There was nothing she could do about it. She controlled her feelings and waved her mother goodbye with a smile. The poet uses the repetition of the word ‘smile’ here to show how hard she tried to contain her pain in front of her mother to give out a rather pleasant demeanour.

The poem ends on a note of sad acceptance of reality. The poet understands that no matter how much she worries about her mother’s growing age and eventual demise, life goes on. It is the way nature intends things to be in life.

The poem teaches us the concept of acceptance in life – the need to understand nature and how it affects our roles in life. We might feel strongly about certain things and people in life. We might form deep attachments to certain people in life, but even those relationships are bound to end at some point of time in life – no matter how much we try to fight the idea of it. Kamala Das has beautifully illustrated this idea in her poem.